i had a dream the other day that i lost my dad. i had a dream years ago about losing my best friend.

i felt clairvoyant; metaphorically losing my dad and best friend, losing multiple partners through those same years.

in those dream states, i regretted. i regretted more than anything. all i thought about when i woke up was that mikko harvey poem about the stupid fucking scarf…or the mary oliver poem “wild geese”, or “post-racial/glacial” from nam le: how can you not be sopping wet with regret after reading these kinds of things? how can you ever forget?

i think these vivid dreams helped crystallize a lot of my sentiments about love and loss, aided by the relationship i have with my current partner and my close friends. this series is about those dreams and how they bled into my reality and the blurred lines between a self-fulfilling prophecy and fate.